you inch along.

Oh my fucking god. If I get out of this one alive, it will be a celebration! The past month has just been hell. It all started with the flu that moved to my lungs, then the landlord incident, the credit card fraud, the grey hair, the insomnia, the tooth pulled out that then got infected and now a sinus cold! I have no energy left to fight and have instead decided to give in. I will need to take better care of myself. Eat some vegetables. Start exercising. Focus on my mental health. Live fully.  No more of this lame version of a life I have been in for the last 40 days. 

The weekend was quite entertaining. Hockey tournament at day, shows and party at night. Making sure we are on time for this, meet people there, take pictures of this game over here, run to the next rink, get some food, go and watch another game and so on…No wonder I am so tired!  I can’t complain though, it was all good fun. The Summit is one of the most lighthearted weekends of the year.  And although the husband’s team didn’t make it to the playoffs this year, I must admit that it was hard to hide my pride in the Montreal teams making almost all the way to the top (they could give some advice to our beloved Habs!). 

Furniture hunting is still on. We did not get the TV because the one we had found had a very bad image quality so we skipped. The office desk that we also wanted was sold to someone else so we ended up going to XS Cargo and buying a fairly decent one for an irresistibly good price.  I am still on the lookout for the IKEA dressers that I really want for the bedroom.

On the news front, PETA has gone insane. Really. I usually encourage them in their endeavours, but this is crossing the line of reasonable. Rescue Shelter Boys? Come on!

This recession is a bitch. I feel bad for Conquest; it was a good discount airline for sun destinations, but in these tough times, only the big companies survive apparently. I wonder what their staff will do now, since they weren’t unionized like most airlines…

This makes me mad! I can’t believe that in 2009 women are still fighting for basics rights. Marital rape is NOT okay! Women are not their husband’s slave! Good on them for marching the streets to denounce these acts.  People were throwing stones at the protesters. What?! Is this the 1600s?  What kind of world do we live in?

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rink rock.

Last day of work before a long long weekend!

Despite the fact that I got a wisdom tooth pulled out yesterday and the excruciating pain I’m in today (hurray for Tylenol 3 that doesn’t work on my rebellious body!), I am seriously looking forward to the delirium that is the Hockey Summit of the Arts. The husband is playing this one; I will proudly be supporting him from the side stands (and most probably taking pictures also). I love this event because it combines hockey and music in such a good-natured way that you will inevitably enjoy yourself even if you know nothing about sports. I have religiously been present to all activites of the Exclaim Cup since I met my wonderful man 3 years ago, except for last Easter when I injured my back and was bed-ridden for weeks. Even as invalid as I was then, I still went out to the Hootennany like a trooper to watch the eccentricity of grown men playing dressup on stage. I would not miss that for anything!  It is just too. damn. funny.

This weekend will also involve more furniture pick-up in between hockey games and music sets.  We furnished our whole living room last Saturday with little gems found on Craigslist.  Our place looks gorgeous now, but it wasn’t without some hassle!  We bought a lovely 3 seater couch that just wouldn’t get through the door. No matter how hard we twisted, pushed and pulled it, tried the front door and the side door; it always got stuck halfway. It seemed like a desperate act to try and force into the house. We were too tired at that point anyway so we just left it on the porch for the night. Later the next day, our upstairs neighbour offered to help and after removing the door completely and whirling it around some more, we finally managed to get it in. What a relief!  So this time we are getting an office desk, a new flat screen TV and perhaps some bedroom items. Woo-Hoo!

The weekend will also include quality time with the said husband as well as some late night partying. And we sure know how to do that together!  As for quality time,  although I do believe that sex before a game is a mojo-killer, there might just be a reward if his team wins… 

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roam the city.

Life is back to normal. Well some kind of normal. Canadian Musicfest ended last Sunday –although in reality it pretty much ends Saturday night for most. It is always strange how quiet the city becomes after a big event like this. You almost feel empty after so much schmoozing, drinking and partying. I wish every day was CMW . Then again, I probably wouldn’t survive. Moderation, moderation.

I wandered the streets on Friday night, going from one venue to another (I got a wristband after all), and it was quite impressive to see how many people were out there doing the same thing. Of course, that also means having to wait in line to go in venues such as The Legendary Horseshoe Tavern.  I just can’t get myself to do that.  Blame it on my ADD.

So here are a few shows that I saw:

Blacky Jackett Jr. at Tattoo Rock Parlour at 8:30pm Friday. My favourite show of the festival.  This band is the side project of James Black and Rick Jackett from Finger Eleven. Not a big fan of the latter, but Blacky Jackett Jr. was exactly my type of show. With back vocals from the sensuous Sandra D. and songs about lost love, whiskey and the desert, this was alt-country at its best. I could have listened to them all night!

Ladies of The Canyon at Rivoli at 10pm Friday. I was very curious to see this country-folk chick band from Montreal (one of the guitarist and the drummer are male but all 4 singers are female). The girls have phenomenal voices and all have their own particularities which creates a beautiful balance in the group. They play keyboards, guitar, bass and even a standup bass (which I loooove!). The only thing that lacked, I thought, were well-written songs.

The Superstitions at Silver Dollar at 11pm Friday. I don’t know why I was expecting much better from this band, probably from what I had heard, but I was very disappointed. I was hoping for some good ol’ rock ‘n roll and this band was a little too pop for me. People seemed to enjoy themselves though, so maybe it’s just my narrow taste in music that made me leave before the end of the show.

I tried to go see Hollerado and Priestess at Sneaky Dee’s but after standing in line in the freezing cold for far too long, I realized the bouncer was only letting people who tipped him generously in to the venue so I moved on to meet some friends at El Mocambo. Needless to say that I don’t plan on going back to that place any time soon after witnessing such behaviour.

Caught two shows at ElMo: Colin Munroe and The Johnstones. Colin is a multi-instrumentalist who can certainly entertain! He is quite something to watch. I’m always blown away by musicians who can do it all. The Johnstones are a punk-ska act that play the visual aspect of their show to the max with no shame. Fun times were had by all.

After all those shows, I met up with more friends from out of town and partied the hell out of this ol’ body of mine. There was a very welcomed stop at Bovine Sex Club for good conversations and more drinks. Our last stop was The Mod Club to gather up more of our friends at the end of the night  –just in time to witness a fight. Not the biggest fan of that club…it is filled with too many uncultured thugs and macho losers for me. It is not a bad place, just not my crowd. At all.

In the end, if I felt like a rockstar Friday night, I did experience the pain of my 29 years the next day. Oh boy!  Gotta drink more water next time!

~More on the festival in a later blog. Gotta get back to work now.~

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and we danced all night.

Lately I have been thinking about the past. About things I have done. I am very nostalgic of those times and I am not really sure why. They weren’t the best times of my life. I was very unhappy on many levels, but somehow right now, I really miss the highs of those moments. –We, as human beings, tend to remember the good things of the past and then put aside the bad parts that made us want to quit in the first place. The brain works in strange ways.–

I remember feeling somewhat content with not knowing what was lying ahead. Just being on my own and doing what I want without thinking twice. I miss jumping on the midnight bus, just because I decided so and going across the country to meet some friends. I miss working in an office in the music industry and attending all the major events and parties. I miss going back to that same office at 4 in the morning after partying all night because we are too drunk to go anywhere else. I miss the ‘important’ people. I miss the tingly feeling inside when I knew I was doing something most people can only dream of. I miss the spotlight. I miss the feeling that anything is possible. I miss being a ‘cool chick’. I miss the passion. I miss the fun without limits. I miss the drugs. I miss the long talks in the middle of the night when we couldn’t sleep. I miss not stressing so much about the world around me. I miss being that carefree.
Those things completed me in the way they were incomplete. They made me more human.

And then, behind all that glamour, I certainly don’t miss the promiscuous sex, the hangovers, the hypocrisy, the games, the tears, constantly being broke, the instability and the dire loneliness.

So where does this melancholy come from?

Well, the thought of my birthday in April bringing me very close to 30 might be scaring me a little. I know things won’t necessarily change, that life continues the same way…but I don’t know…30 seems like a big deal to me. I’ve always thought I’d be settled (financially, mentally and physically) and living in a house with 2 kids and a dog by now. Unfortunately, my experience was something different. I lived the life when I was younger and paid for it. Which is fine altogether, but it doesn’t necessarily give you the picture perfect setting. –Why us women have this idea that 30 is some sort of time limit for things to happen; I don’t know. But you feel it. Inside. Ticking.–

Strangely still, I am at my happiest right now. I have a fantastic husband that I love more than anything and cherish every day. I seriously could not ask for anybody better than him. I have great friends and family that I can rely on. I have a career that I enjoy so very much (which I can’t wait to resume in May!) and we have a new apartment that I truly want to be a nest. I only say ‘strangely happy’ because that is such a new thing for me. I usually thrive on being unhappy. It pushes me forward. I could write an instruction book on ‘how to make life enjoyable when all is shitty’. Still, I am a very positive person in my own neurotic kind of way.

Not a lot of people understand how the carefree lifestyle can be done, but when you are living it the benefits are grand ( in the short term at least!). Living in the fast lane has its ups and downs (both of which are extremes) and I would not trade what I have now for those days. I have been waiting way too long for this. Being married is a wonderful journey and I learn from it every day. Some days are tougher than others but all are filled with love and that makes everything worth it.

I just have to find a way to live my rock ‘n’ roll and still be a good wife and better person in general.
I still haven’t figured out how that would be possible but being the person that I am, I am sure I will find some way not to lose the little party girl inside me…I just hope nobody gets hurt.

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